About a month ago I remember telling my daughter to start looking for a car. She had been hired for a new job and I did not have a way to get her to work. She stepped out in faith and began her search. I started noticing a slew of cars coming to me via text. All of them were the same make and model, however they were different colors. Mazda she said. “That’s my DREAM CAR”. I personally don’t like Mazda’s. I’m a Chevy girl by heart (but driving a Nissan at the moment.)
Anyhoo, as I started looking at the cars, I asked her a very important question. “Are there any other makes and models that you like besides a Mazda?” I think you know her answer. But as beautiful as the cars were, they didn’t fit within the budget she was looking for or had too many miles, but never the less, the search wasn’t over. (She’s a pretty determined young lady.) After going to 3 dealerships and no approvals, my heart began to sink because I knew she desperately needed a car. At the fourth place we went to, we were tired from the Texas heat and to be honest, we just needed to find a car. We found a beat-up Toyota, scratched up in the front, dented in the back, (manual roll down windows) however, it was only $5k and she figured it would just have to work.
I know by now you’re wondering, “what does car shopping have anything to do with finding your spouse?” (I’m totally going somewhere with this.) As we spoke to the salesman about the $5k car, I turned to look at my daughter. Her eyes filled with sadness but she was willing to settle because at the end of the day, she needed a car for work. The salesman looked at me and said something profound; He said: “If you really want this car, please let me know because I’m really gonna have to pull some strings with the finance guy” I was thinking “WHAT???” Pull some strings for a used, beat up, dented, roll your own windows down, dirty blue car??” “I very politely smiled and told him that we’d think about it and get back with him on Monday.
Fast-Forward a few hours and a good friend of mine mentioned to go to a certain dealership that had a great reputation. We filled out the application, passed, and the salesman started showing my daughter “other kinds of cars”. All within her budget, all very nice colors. They had low miles, electric windows no dents, no scratches and best of all, guess what? They were not Mazda’s. I was like wait… There’s other cars out there than can fit what’s on your list and they’re not what YOU thought you needed or wanted?
So, needless to say, after a very long grueling day, my daughter finally found her car Praise God. He provided her with a car she could afford. She fell in love with the color! It is great on gas, 2015, low miles and guess what it was? Yep it was a Chevy Cruze (emphasis on the Chevy; wink wink)
Moral of this story is yes God provided. He knew her needs and desires. He understood how important it was for my daughter and my grandson to have a reliable car that would be within her budget. But most of all He knew exactly what car would fit her personality. She was glowing from ear to ear!
So for those out there that are believing for your spouse, let me leave you with 3 nuggets that the Lord showed me during this process of finding the right car.
Now before I continue, I know there’s going to be people out there that will say, “Well if people would just concentrate on loving Jesus instead of looking for their mate, maybe they would be better off”. Now I said that because there are so many people out there that are telling single people this all the time!
This kind of talk isn’t encouraging singles, its causing singles to feel condemned. When they feel condemned, they are more prone to settle and be lured away because they don’t feel they are being spiritual enough. Because of this kind of preaching, it has caused so many singles to fall away from the church, but more than that, fall away from their relationship with the Lord and falling back into sexual sin.
Come on, let’s be real. It is VERY important to love Jesus and follow Him. We definitely need to be living pure and lastly, we should be content in our season of singleness. However, there’s nothing wrong with praying and believing God for your spouse. Do not let the Pharisees of this age put you in a religious box and make you feel guilty when God knew that it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2:18)
So while you are waiting, continue to live your life with joy! Serve, mentor, give, pray, be active in your church or local community. Continue to show the love of Jesus to others but don’t throw your desire for marriage by the wayside. Write down your Silhouette and trust God that in His perfect timing, you will find the spouse He's ordained you to be with. Don't let the Mazda mentality stop you from your Chevy blessing ;)
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
When I think about the title, it takes me back to elementary school. We’d line up to go to the cafeteria and we’d all have to face forward. If we turned around to talk to our friend, the teacher would tell us “turn around and face the front”. Never did I realize how profound that statement really is, especially if we have faced any forms of abuse in our past.
As the Lord dropped this in my spirit, He reminded me that it is important to face the Front in our lives. I thought, hmmm, yes I suppose it is. We don’t want to walk forward and keep turning around to look behind us. Then I heard “No that’s not what I meant”. I knew that the Lord was trying to lovingly tell me this was important.
You see, when we go through different traumatic events such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse or even sexual abuse, we learn how to mask our pain because it can be too hard to face. But what if you thinking you haven’t gone through a traumatic event? You didn’t suffer any abuse per say.
I had a friend who said, she didn’t go through anything really bad during her childhood. Her parents have been married for 28 years, and her and her brothers never suffered any abuse. So I told her, well then, you’re very blessed to have had a stable family. Then she asked me “ Is it abuse if my dad was in and out of my life until I was 14?” I asked her to explain. She began to tell me that her dad was the sweetest man she’d ever known. However, every year he’d just go a way. No one ever knew where he went, he’d be gone for several months, and then come home. He did this until she was about 14 years old. Her mom never told her or her brothers where their dad would go, all she would say is he was- he’s home now and that’s all that matters. But for my friend, she said she always felt insecure about growing up and getting married. She explained that the reason she is still single is because she didn’t want to commit to someone who might just get up and leave for no reason.
Do you think she was putting up a “Front”? The definition for putting up a front means: to pretend or falsely represent.
What was her front? She “pretended” she was fine and had no issues, however, she was suffering with fear, insecurity and rejection. So maybe to her, this wasn’t a traumatic event in her life, but it did affect her relationship with men because she wouldn’t commit, for fear that her future husband would randomly leave.
As us Texans would say; she was frontin)
We all put on fronts when we’re hurting. We all have a front that we wear or wore in our journey through coping. Yes believe it or not, we learn to cope instead of walk in freedom. Coping has several definitions, but the one that stuck out to me the most was: “To keep one’s head above water”. Wow, isn’t that something we’ve all said at one time or another? (Hey how are you? Eh you know, I’m just keeping my head above water)
We learn to cope and front, in order to just survive.
But let me tell you something friends, Jesus doesn’t just want us to cope, or keep our heads above water, He wants us to face the FRONT that we are putting on. My favorite quote is something the Lord gave me a couple of years ago-“If you confront that thing that once held you, it no longer has power over you”. Isn’t that awesome? For instance, you may wear a front to cover up your fear, anger, rejection, insecurity, lust or even greed.
But if you FACE YOUR FRONT, it’s like standing up to a bully! When you finally stand up to the bully, he can’t torment you anymore. It’s the same with your FRONT.
Don’t live just coping with it, face it, and take your freedom back.
So today, take an inventory of what your Front may be. God wants us to walk in Freedom! He doesn’t want us turning around and pretending it isn’t there, nor does He want us to act like we’re fine and everything is just blessed all the time.
You don’t have to do it alone. Jesus promised us, He would NEVER leave us or forsake us. He will walk this out with us. He WILL give us the courage to overcome.
So quit frontin and start walking in your Freedom today!
From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.
Chrissie Moore is a mother and grandmother from Keller Texas. She is a survivor of mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. She has a passion to help other women who are seeking freedom.