I haven’t blogged in over a year.
Everyone does different things to relax and unwind. Some run, some cook, some read, listen to music or paint.
I had stopped writing because fear. It wasn’t that I couldn’t find material to write about, it was the fear of what I felt others were saying about me that left me paralyzed.
I had battled this beast before and won. But this time when it returned, it came at a time in my life when I had become the most vulnerable.
Now vulnerability is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it takes courage to be vulnerable. Especially when you’ve lost someone you love, battled a disease, gone through a divorce or lost a child (through death or they no longer speak to you).
Whatever it was that left you afraid to trust again; learning to be vulnerable with people again is hard.
God doesn’t work in coincidences, happenstance or accidents. What God does do, is connect the dots behind the scenes where we can’t see.
Today I had the privilege of interviewing a very special young lady on my SoulFit Podcast. Her name is Alexis Newlin and she is the host of The Brave Podcast. As we began the conversation, the Holy Spirit just moved. It’s like nuggets kept dropping throughout the whole show. I literally held back the tears because I knew what God was doing.
I hadn’t realized that even though I had walked through so much freedom in the last 6 years, I was still paralyzed with the fear of what people thought about me.
I was stuck and I didn’t even recognize it.
Isn’t it amazing that the story of the boiling frog doesn’t make sense until you’re the frog?
The premise is that if a frog is put in boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in lukewarm water and then its brought to a boil very slowly, it can’t recognize the danger and will be cooked to death.
What I realized today is that vulnerability is not your enemy and faith doesn’t show up in the absence of fear.
We have to walk with faith as we push through the fear; even if people say things about you that aren’t true.
That means we have to fight scared, walk when we’re injured and follow God’s voice when we can’t see Him or the plan He has for us.
I want to encourage you today that if God is calling you do write, sing, teach, preach or even love again, then do it scared and faith WILL show up to help you fight through it.
SoulFit Podcast/ The Brave Podcast are both found on ApplePodcast. Check out our interview below:
Said the 6th grader on the playground, as she was showing off her new shoes to the clique.
I remember like it was yesterday. I was so excited to tell everyone I had gotten new shoes for my birthday. My mom had saved up and got them for me.
She worked 2 jobs plus taking care of us, so I knew it was a very special gift.
When I got to school, I couldn’t wait to show my best friend my birthday gift! As my mom dropped me off, I noticed a group of girls by the locker room.
I wondered what was going on, so I ran as fast as I could to get the 911.
My best friend came up to me and asked “Did you see Heather’s new shoes?” I was like, um nope but now I HAD to see what all the fuss was about.
Before I could finish my sentence, I turned around there she was. Looking straight at me she said “Chris, check out my new shoes, aren’t they awesome?”
As I looked down, there they were, the coolest pair of moccasin boots I had ever seen. (This was in the 80’s so stay with me)
I couldn’t say a word, I was just mesmerized at how beautiful they were. “My dad bought them, she said, he had them specially ordered from a magazine” - For a hot minute I forgot I had new shoes too. But when I had come to my senses, I noticed I started to feel ashamed and stepped away from the crowd of girls.
My best friend followed me and said, “Man I wish I had her shoes”, I thought the same thing, but I didn’t want to say it out loud. I looked down at my brand-new penny loafers that my mom had bought at K-Mart. She had put them on layaway because she had to make payments. They weren’t real leather either. I had found the shiniest penny to put in the slot, but even then, I didn’t think my gift measured up to Heather’s gift.
I tried not to get jealous, but the more I kept hearing about how lucky she was and how everyone wished their dad would do that for them... the angrier and more jealous I became.
I mean, how could I enjoy my penny loafers while she had expensive Moccasin boots?
That was back in the early 80’s but its funny how this same story is still happening today…. right now,…. in CHURCHES across America.
We are still jealous of each other’s gifts. It doesn’t matter that we’re supposed to use our individual gifts to help others OR that we are all given different gifts, but part of the same body. We still get jealous because "she has a better gift than me".
You see, being jealous of someone else’s gift, doesn’t allow you to naturally flow in yours. If I had been secure in who I was, then it wouldn’t have mattered how much her gift cost.
If you’re too busy crying over someone else’s new boots, you’re not walking in your very special penny loafers!
We found out later that Heather's dad was in the shoe business, so he got free shoes all the time. Meanwhile, my mom worked hard to make sure I got the desire of my heart because I had wanted these penny loafers for a good minute.
When there’s a sacrifice, you tend to take care of what was given to you. When there’s no work behind it, you can take it for granted.
Then finally, I couldn’t see what my gift was worth because I was focused on the price tag. When Heather told us how much those boots cost, I thought my penny loafers were cheap. But I was looking at it all wrong.
You see, it wasn’t about the price tag, it was about the gift giver.
Too many times we tell God, we don’t like the gift HE gave us.
Romans 12:4 -8 tells us:
For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.
If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Today, we need to look at the gift giver and stop being jealous of what someone else has.
Flow in YOUR gift. Shine in your talent for the Lord. Stop comparing what “she does” to what you do, its NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME!
In order to flow in the Spirit, you must let go of pride. And to let go of pride, you must die to self. To die to self, you must see past you. To see past you, you must know what price was paid for you. And in order to see what price was paid for you… you need to look to the GIFT GIVER!
So come on girl, put on your favorite pair of shoes……aaaaand
WALK IT OUT!
Its time to get set free from the bond of Jealousy and start using the gifts God gave you.
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
Chrissie Moore is a mother and grandmother from Keller Texas. She is a survivor of mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. She has a passion to help other women who are seeking freedom.