I had a conversation with a friend the other day and we both shard similar stories. The common denominator that kept resounding in my heart was not the fact that we had to start over; but finding our new normal.
Anything that is not your normal routine, can knock you out of whack.
The routine that you once knew, doesn't exist anymore. This can be with anything. The loss of a job or a spouse. Maybe you’ve raised your kids and now you’re trying to figure out what you're supposed to do in this next phase of your life. Maybe your not allowed to see your kids. Maybe you had a major surgery and it has left you dependent on someone for daily help.
Whatever it is, having to find your new normal, can come with struggles.
It’s taken me 4 years, but I have finally found my new normal.
It wasn't easy at first because there were some people that thought I needed to be thinking of all the good things in my life and not focus on the bad that I had just walked though.
Well sorry to disappoint you, but the last time I checked, I was human. And the human part of me had good days, and really, really bad days.
Everyone is different. So is the healing process.
Listen, we don’t want to process. We HAVE TO PROCESS. Period.
If we think we can just stuff everything down and pretend it never happened, OR we run around telling everyone that we're some kind of Super Hero and don't need to process, then we're only deceiving ourselves.
I remember telling people I was ok when I really wasn't. I'd smile, laugh and go places. But inside, I was literally screaming for help. I hated that I had to start over. I hated that I was left to pick up the pieces. And I hated that I was everyone’s verbal punching bag.
I wanted to share this today because I know there are many of you who can relate to finding your new normal.
Sometimes when we lose something, we instinctively feel that we must go out and "replace" what we lost.
But to be honest, we don’t need to replace anything.
Instead, we need to find ourselves again.
You see, when there’s an earthquake, everything gets destroyed. But even in all the rubble, we can find something small and try to rebuild.
I’m gonna be honest. Its not easy. And the reason its not easy is because we have to give ourselves permission to adjust to the new normal.
I’ve heard people say, “If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade”. Well I’m going to have to disagree.
Because what if I don’t even like lemons? Am I supposed to be stuck with drinking lemonade?
I used to think so because that’s what everyone else said I should be doing. But now, I look at it like this; “What if… I throw the lemon… buy an orange and make orange juice?”
In other words, you need to find YOUR new normal. Not what other people say it should be, not what others think, and not what you think you should do to “please others.”
Now please don’t go out and do something stupid. What I’m trying to show you is- you are fearfully and wonderfully made. No one else is created like you. So, stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Walk it out. Process. Find yourself again and then take that time to settle in your new normal. You’re not alone or beyond help. There is hope after the storm.
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
Chrissie Moore is a mother and grandmother from Keller Texas. She is a survivor of mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. She has a passion to help other women who are seeking freedom.