I have had many conversations over the last several months with mothers of adult children. The one thing that kept coming up over and over is guilt. Guilt over the decisions their adult children have made.
When our children were young, we knew where they were because we hovered over them like a helicopter. I know I did.
I remember making sure my kids were safe, they went to church, they said their prayers, they did their homework and chores and they stayed out of trouble. But as you know, we can’t be “everywhere” all the time. Kids will be kids and they face the same temptations that we as adults face.
But what happens when those same kids that you raised, go off and do something they’re not supposed to?
Many kids who grew up in the church, grow up to not only leave the church and their faith, but they also get into drugs, alcohol and theft. Some wind up in jail. Others go from relationship to relationship thinking that sex is going to make them happy.
Then you have kids who grew up around violence or indifference and now they too are acting out in their own relationships and marriages.
But the question remains: Where is the mother and what is she doing to stop this terrible behavior?
Well I’m going to answer that question because its one I’ve heard myself.
The answer is, the “mother” is right there in the same place…. Praying for the wayward "adult" child.
You see, so many people think that when your children misbehave, you should look at the parents or mother because they are responsible for the child’s behavior, and this is true. But when the child grows up and becomes an adult, who is responsible then? Is it still the mother? Or is it the adult child that has made poor choices- despite the way he/she was raised?
Look no matter how good of a person you may be, whether you are a mother or father that is reading this, you and I both know that we have at one point failed our children.
Now if you have apologized to your adult child and have tried to make amends but they are still blaming you- it is time to stop tripping over the guilt.
There have been too many tears shed because of guilt trippin. Too many late nights of how you could have done or said things differently.
If your grown child has made poor choices in his/her life that has put them in situations that they shouldn’t be in, it is not your fault.
If they have chosen to walk away from God and live for their own fleshly desires, it is not your fault.
If they don’t call to see how you are doing because they want to punish you for something you’ve apologized for over and over……again, it is not your fault. And if they are currently in prison, it is still not your fault.
Give your adult -grown-children to the Lord. This is between them and HIM now.
Why am I saying this? Because as we get ready to go into 2019, ITS TIME to forgive yourself. It’s TIME to move on, it’s TIME to see how God sees you and it’s TIME for you to let go of the guilt and receive your joy once again.
Don’t go into this next season guilt trippin.
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
Chrissie Moore is a mother and grandmother from Keller Texas. She is a survivor of mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. She has a passion to help other women who are seeking freedom.