We’ve all been there. We’ve rehearsed in our mind how we are going to share our testimony.
Where do even start? How do we tell people who we were and how bad our lives were before His saving grace?
Then we finally take that first step. You remember it right? The day we finally open our mouth and begin to mutter the words of what Jesus did for us. How HE pulled us out of that porn addiction, anger, lust, sleeping around, murder, manipulation, or whatever your sin or hurt was.
But before you can even begin, something happens. It comes in like a jab, then another jab and soon; you second guess why you even wanted to share anything in the first place….so you become silent.
Let me explain something, the enemy is in the business of shutting you down. All he does is bring confusion, distraction, lies and shame. But worse than that, he wants us to be silent and not tell people how Jesus has set us free.
Today my message is simple.
Use your voice!
Your testimony can change someone’s life.
Revelations 12:11 says and THEY overcame him.
Wait…. Who is they? Who is him?
They is US……..and we know who he is.
We overcame him; the devil, the deceiver, the enemy and the serpent of old.
We overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.
The bible doesn’t say we overcame by talking about someone else’s testimony, it says we overcame by the word of OUR testimony.
Mark 5:1-20 also tells us about the demon possessed man. He didn’t have just one demon, he was tormented by a legion. A legion is roughly 5,000. Now that’s hard to believe that it was even possible for a human being, to have 5,000 demons.
The story goes on to say that the demons begged Jesus to not banish them from the country they were in. So, the Lord sent them into a heard of pigs and the pigs ran off a cliff and drowned.
But the man.
The man who was possessed was now in his right mind. Fully clothed. Probably chilling with Jesus. I mean I know I would be.
Then the bible says the man begged Jesus. He wanted to go with him.
I would want to follow Jesus too. If I had been tormented and now I was free, all I’d want to do is be at Jesus’ feet and hang on his every word.
But Jesus surprised me.
Despite all the begging, He did not let the man come with him.
Instead He said: “Go home to your own people and tell them your story—what the Master did, how he had mercy on you.” So, the man went back and began to preach in the Ten Towns area about what Jesus had done for him. He was the talk of the town.”
When I read this, I was like oh my gosh. Jesus wanted him to go back home. He wanted the man to go and tell his story. He didn’t tell the man go to bible college. Go get a degree. Come listen to me preach. Follow me to every town I do a conference in.
He said GO HOME… and tell them your story, and the man began to PREACH!!!
Sometimes we really do over think it. We tend to believe the lies and feel we are not qualified because people are whispering about all the reasons of why we shouldn’t be blogging, podcasting, preaching, singing, teaching, leading a bible study.... and guess what?
That is never going to stop.
Let me say something. The enemy wants you to believe the whispers. He wants you to believe that no one will listen OR if you do share, people will talk about you and how crazy you are.
But let me just bring you some hope.
The reason the devil does not want you to share, is because he knows you are going to expose him. And when you expose him, he can no longer operate in your life, in your families lives or in the lives of others.
So today, don’t be silent. Use your story for HIS GLORY! Go preach and tell others what the Master has done.
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
Now there’s a word…. FINE
It’s the word I used when I didn’t want to answer that question of “How are you doing?”
Somehow, I thought that word was like magic. It would literally make people smile and walk away. They wouldn’t ask me anymore questions.
I mean if I said I was doing OK, then it could open the conversation for “what’s wrong” or “are you sure you’re OK?”
But what if I told you that “fine” isn’t fine.
In Webster’s dictionary, there are so many definitions for this word. But I chose to use: Obsolete, end, or conclusion.
In other words, fine means; end of conversation, so don’t ask me again.
Several years ago, I was battling a very deep depression. I remember not wanting to come out of my room or talk to anyone. I had literally been sleeping for 3 days. I hadn’t eaten or seen the light of day.
My kids (who still lived with me) were 19 & 15. They begged me to come out of the room and spend time with them.
With every fiber of my being, I wanted to, but I was so out of it, that I just couldn’t bring myself to engage with anyone.
They finally decided to call a couple that I had recently become friends with. Now mind you, I didn’t know these people very well. I knew them because I was going to their 12-step program at church. So, its not like we were “good friends” or anything.
Then without me knowing, they showed up at my house…. and I was LIVID!
My kids thought if they came over, I would “have to” get out of my room and socialize. I knew they wanted to help me, but at the time, I was extremely angry they were there.
I got dressed, fixed myself the best I could and walked downstairs.
I smiled and pretended to be “fine”.
The minute I came down I gave my kids the death stare.
Ya'll know about the death stare, right? Well for those of you that don’t; it’s the “look” you give someone when they are in DEEP trouble because they told your business.
The guy (who is now my best friend) asked me what was wrong? I said “nothin I’m fine”. He kept asking.... OVER…. AND OVER…. AND OVER.
The more he asked, the angrier I became.
I became so enraged that I couldn’t hold my emotions in anymore.
I felt something well up from deep inside of me. It felt like I was about to explode. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was going to die.
Finally, after what seemed like 30 minutes (which was only like 2), I screamed at the top of my lungs:
“I don’t know how to grieve the man I loved and the man I hated”.
It felt like I had just vomited over everyone. But it felt good. Like good vomit. Is that even a thing?
Heck I don’t know, but for the first time, I felt lighter, I felt like I could breathe again, and I finally understood that I had never processed my pain.
Since I couldn’t put words to my pain, I never truly worked through it.
I’m sharing this story today because if you want to heal properly, you gotta stop faking your fine and put a name to your pain.
In other words, process through your situation. It could be your divorce, the loss of a child, parent or best friend. It could be you were raped, molested, verbally abused or even neglected and abandoned.
I’m sure the list could go on and on. But when you don’t process your pain, you’ll always live in a state of fine.
Today I want you to know, there is hope and I want to share my nuggets that helped me process my pain.
Acknowledge the hurt
You can’t pretend this didn’t happen. You must be willing to put a name to the pain and work through it. Once you recognize what you are trying to cover up, you can take the next step to your healing.
Make a choice
You are going to have to choose to get better. You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken, but when you know what it is, now you have the power to change it.
Walk it out
Change isn’t change unless its changed (Edwin Louis Cole).
Change is done daily. It means unlearning bad behaviors and breaking the cycle of the victim mentality. It won’t be easy. I prayed for God to send me help. And he did, that night. Trust me, the help didn’t come in the way I thought I needed it, but God knew exactly what he was doing.
Finally: Forgive yourself for thinking you could have done more!
So many times, we feel like we didn’t pray enough, fast enough, use enough scripture etc. What helped me the most was realizing it was not my fault that my husband committed suicide.
People make choices and sometimes it’s the wrong choice. This doesn’t mean I didn’t pray hard enough, it means God gives us free will. After I accepted that it wasn’t my fault, I was able to forgive myself and move forward to walk out the process.
Please understand, I didn't do this alone. Jesus was with me through the entire process. I prayed for wisdom, guidance and strength. I read God's word. I worshiped.
But all of this would not have helped me if i hadn't "applied" the principles and walked out the process.
Don’t ever give up on YOU because you ARE worth the fight for your freedom!
Rom. 8:37- 1 Tim. 6:12- Ps. 18:39
~Broken Beautiful Ministries
Chrissie Moore is a mother and grandmother from Keller Texas. She is a survivor of mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. She has a passion to help other women who are seeking freedom.